You Itch an Itch, Not Scratch it!
by fanged kunoichi
Summary: a young little fire cracker named Akira Kage is put in squad 11 after a mishap, what will happen when she meets her captain? or when she is asigned a mission in hueco mundo?
1. there goes the milkman

PREQUAL

For once it was peaceful in sector 83, far outside the soul society's walls, and far from justice when a beautiful baby girl was born, as the childs carrier writhed in agony, as death was thrust upon her, her life partner cried beside her, not moving, not making any noise.. life was over, not worth living it seemed to the poor soul.. but wait!!! he had a child now!!! Jashiri Kage had now a duaghter!!! but she was the cause of this... Midori Hana died giving birth.... this infant caused the love of his life to shadow... as he looked down at her with an evil grin, the words flooded out of his mouth Akira Kage... my life's shadow he thought how suiting..... this is where our story takes off.

CHAP. 1. The Day of Shadow.

I found out yesterday that i was being forced into the shinigami acadamy... i dont really want to go... my fathers exact words "Akira.. come sit" he said with that shit eating grin of his that said 'I know somethin you don't know and im happy about it' kinda thing I knew by now to just stare at the floor and listen to him, Iv'e learnt to keep my rage inside and my spririt pressure to a minimal, the last place i wanted to be was the soul reapers acade- "I'm sending you to the acedemy, no if ands or buts! your leaving tomorow." I could hear my teeth grinding as i walked down the road to the academy... that ass hat... i dont wanna be here... im freekin 26... well i look that old, i quit counting after 142... it was taking to long to get there... they wernt gunna noticed if i used a bit of speed to get there were they? i looked left and right at people on the streets of rukongai... nah to busy haggling.... so i busted in to a run my speed well over 60 mph... did i mention? that i have a naturaly little speedy-ness for sum reason or another... ive always been fast with tones legs, just my arm muscles were unnaturally weak... anyways... not and hour later was i standing infront of the academy... as i looked around i gained a few stares, not from the run i stopped a little earlier, but my attire... my family being in the more poor areas didnt have the money for such luxuries as good clothes so i was wearing spandex pants (red) and a loose white shirt with a black cloth tied around my waist, it reached my mid thigh, looked like i was wearin a dress ha! as if... any ways.... i sorta felt outa place.... 'no shit shirlock, ya look a bit like an underpaid hooker' i thought to myself and sweat dropped, patience i found was wearing thin....

"You must be miss Kage i presume!" i looked forward as a middle age man held out his hand... i just stared at his hand as if it was going to give me a disease... hmmmm... i wasnt lstening when he said his name... ok he is the herpies bastard... very suiting... if i do say so, im soooo creative (note the sarcasm) well he gave up on harrassing me and brought me inside, whispers started flowing, if they couldnt stop moving there mouths then they need sumthn shoved in it, i almost snicked at my perversion till i stood infront of a door.  
"Lucky you miss Kage, you've came on a day were the captains are patroling!" he said with glee, i on the other hand was not so excited, i was bored, yay captains woopti do, watd he want me to do? squee like a lil school girl? i think not, i just rolled my eyes and sighed as he pushed me to the front of the line.. he obviously didnt notice my lack of interest, herpies bastard must be on crack or sum shit... i dont know but hell shit must be good... wonder were he gets it...

"ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS PLEASE REPORT TO THE TRAING GROUNDS... NEW STUDENTS REPORT TO , HE WILL DIRECT YOU WHERE TO GO,... HAVE A GOOD TIME SPARING"

"i guess thats my que..." the crack addict, who i have dubbed herpies bastard said, soo Mr. Kanashima eh? ima wind up annoying the piss outa him if i ever get in a fight... wait shit! sparing... but i dont know how to hold back, its all out or all in for me... "come come then miss Kage, this way" he said as i followed him to the outside arena, aw... what a pain i decided this was going to be.... as we were givin a number, i got 146, "146 hm?" herpies was staring over my shoulder at the number i was givin... "thats the last fight you know? youve got a long wait" i rolled my eyes, a pain indeed...

Lets fastforward to mah fight aye? FF: 5 hours

ok im frikin grumpy and quite frankly my ass hurts "LASTLY, NUMBERS 146! ENTER THE ARENA!" i walked u not so gracefuly, slouching along the way to the arena, across from me stood a man, middle to young age, i observed him sizing him up, ' about 6'5, maybe 250 pounds, maybe a bit heavier, still against me standing at 5'5 even and 135 pounds, its all in the leg muscle and hips i tell ya!, this man would squash me if he fell on me -.-' "FIGHT!" i stood still as the taller man rushed at me grinning as if itd be a peice of cake, as he neard i let him grab me by my collar and lift me about 5 maybe more inches off the ground.

"your guna be easy arent you, a shame im going to have to beat a pretty face as yours" he said, i merely rolled my green hazel eyes, undid the rope with a tug and fell without a shirt to the ground as a fishnet shirt and a purple bra under were revealed, he just stared in awe at my 34'ds and that was my opening, focusing my reitsu into my feet, i reached up grabed the shirt, tugged down on it in his vice grip, just as i expected he came down fast, and in the middle of tha movement i swiftly, but not so gently flung my foot up in a kick so fast it left an after image and hit him right under his chin, the man flew back past the spectators into the wall, his jaw broken, teeth now missing and a snapped neck, he was literally in the wall a few feet, i just scoffed and lowered my leg, bent down and put my shirt back on. it was dead silent, now that i finally looked around, a couple captains were here... well fuck was all i could say, then after some time and my stillness a captain rose from his seat and walked towards the arena, as he neared i could see it was Yamamoto taicho, captain of the first division. his squinty eyes bore down on my frame as he spoke "You might have considered not killing that man accident or not, you are a danger to this academy, and i am withdrawing you, to be imediate in you duties of a placement in squad 11, Akira Kage." well shit and here i thought i could be thrown in jail for my murderous habit, but no, this man was making me go into a fighting squad to use my "talents" to kill and fight... Yamamoto leered down at me once more before walking towards the exit of the acedemy, i could only follow... only follow to see what fate awaites me.....


	2. if you were gay

as i followed the old soutaicho i coldnt help but wonder what the infamous zaraki kenpachi would truely be like, would he be always angry? did he have a sense of humor and if so what kind? was he a complete weirdy? was he harsh and unforgiving? oooo was he gay? he does do his hair every mornin' after all. My mental rant of the spikey wonder came to a halt as i nearly bumped into the old man, i could imagine it now, i bump him he goes flailing down the next thin i hear is 'oohhhh my hip!!' oh that would be funny but hell for me. So here i am, with soutaicho, standing at the entrance to squad 11's barracks, should i be scared? probly, am i? hell to the no! im bubbling with innocence and curiosity... pft! innocence im such a liar haha. As the doors pushed slowly open i started loosing my patience, i hate slow things. when they finally opened all the way i let out a breath i didnt acknowledge having been held. i saw a bright flash of pink... im going to act like i didnt just see that, that im not crazy and- "WAH!" "HIIIII" "oof-" "whats your name, you got candy? can i have some? where are you from? whats your name? whys soutaicho here? did you come to see ken-chan?" it was all said in a speed in which all i could reply to was a nice intellegent "wha? what just happened"ok so im not exactly used to being tackled to the ground by a bubbly pink haired fukutaicho ok? its definatly a first for me. as if i couldnt get anymore confused i suddenly felt an immense pressure on my being, i looked at the other 2 higher ups but they didnt seem to notice it, or it didnt effect them, i dont care at the moment, yachiru just got 40 pounds hevier on my gut. i tightened te muscles in my lower torso as to not throw up, yachiru raised up a bit and giggled finding my flexing funny for some reason or another, great a child is making fun of me aye? as i looked up i slowly took in the hulk of a man before me, large feet, long wide well muscled legs, very well defined abs, nice wide chest, broad shoulder, strong arms, huge hands, and a narrow scarred and eyepatched face whith spikey belled hair on top, one thought crossed my mind 'oh kami-sama, please dont let him be gay' my eyes met his grey ones as he stared me down, even as the spiritual pressure was rough an untamed, it was like i was playing with fire, adicting to the very core. i stared, no i glared proving my defiance, making sure he knew just because i would be the only fully developed woman in this squad, i would not be undermined. I had to prove myself at day frickin one, that i was a rebelious misfit and i didnt take shit and no one was above me, either equal, or well equal. zaraki-taicho as if noticing a 5'5 rather thin woman was glaring, trying to stare him down while on the ground with yachiru still babbling on, something about cookies, he paid no mind, and trying to hide her obvious discomfort under his spirit pressure, and she was still fighting him, no matter how useles, she was fighting, a strong indefinate will, that would most likely mold to a situation, but never bend nor snap., and that was all the large captain could take, the site rather funny as soutaicho just stared at the two young women in obvious dissaproval, the captain let out a deep, gruff laugh a large haha, echoed throughout the 11th division, "shut the fuck up ya pointy ass hat" he looked down still chuckling, the girl was on her feet now, apparently yachiru found something else to bother, to say the least both captains were somewhat shocked at the girls blatant disrespect and mannerism, not to mention choice of words towards a captain, who obviously if he fell on her would totally squish her, and yet there she was standing proudly, a strong and defiant look on her face and eyes gleaming with a fire none could breach, she was brave, or was it foolish, neither knew, but she, she knew she was strong and she knew thats why she was here, to get even stronger.


End file.
